Creatures of Habit

Most days, our lives are generally the same. Each day is woven together by a string of the routine and familiar. We set our alarm clocks to awaken at the same time, hit the snooze alarm the same number of times, get up out of bed on the same side, have the same breakfast each morning, catch the same train each morning, see the same faces who are following their same routines.

 

We are creatures of habit and it ain't pretty when things don't go the way they are "supposed" to go.  You know what life is like when your spouse gets up on the wrong side of the bed or when you just miss the 6:11 train or when the coffee cart isn’t there on the corner like it normally is!

 

There is something good about routines and habits. They help us make some sense of the chaotic, keep us moving in a good and orderly way, meet expectations and responsibilities and in our own little corners of the world way, give us a sense of control. Yet because we are fallen, even the good stuff can get, well, messed up. This can happen in extreme ways, such as obsessive-compulsive disorders in which the sufferer is compelled to wash her hands 20 times a day or must wear the color red at all times or someone must go to the gym every day and exercise for 3 hours, without fail. My own mother, out of fear of living alone with her small children, would patrol the house nightly to ensure that all of the windows and doors were locked and secured, not once, or twice, or even three times. She would do so all night long. The operative word here is “fear.”

  

Let’s face it: this isn’t a safe world. We need not read the terrible headlines screaming on the front pages to know that. Most accidents happen at home, which is considered by most to be the safest place on earth, a refuge from the cold, cruel world. Even Paradise wasn’t safe.  How could that be? After all, it was Paradise.  Yet, trouble walked in (or slithered in) and life hasn't been the same since.  Despite the most orderly 6-days of Creation, each element Creation coming into existence through the Word step by step, day by day, chaos and disaster were right around the corner and at the feet of Adam and Eve. No, this world has never been a safe place. And when our primordial parents made the choice to take that bite, we became all too familiar with fear.

 

Did you know that in The Bible. we are told don't not fear over 360+ times. That's quite a bit! In fact, we are given this direction even more than we are told to love!

   

How can this be? Are we not told that God is Love and we are to love our neighbor as ourselves? Isn't the life of the Christian one of sacrificial love? Well, of course. John tells us that: "In this is love: not that we have loved, but that God has loved us." We are also reminded by Jeremiah, "even if a mother should forget her child, I will never forget you." Yet, the Bible speaks more to us about relinquishing fear than of loving!

 

Let us consider the moment of the Anunciation, when the angel Gabriel comes to Mary: "Hail, full of grace...." She is then told to "have no fear" for the Lord had found favor with Her and he then spoke the words of what God had intended for Her: the conception and Virgin Birth of Emmanuel - God is With Us! In such a case, fear would be absolutely valid, indeed. Angels are beings from a higher spiritual plane and are brilliant and mighty.  Yet, it was not the angel or its presence, but the words spoken which troubled her.  We are told The Lord had His Eye on Her and He wanted Her to do something. I don't know about you, but I would have some anxiety about this. Yet, had She remained in that fear, would She have been able to say the most amazing words ever uttered by a creature, "Behold I am the handmaid of the Lord. Be it done unto me according to your word?" Mary heard the message that the Lord was with Her and She believed, She trusted, She wholeheartedly gave Herself to the Will of God. She looked not to Herself, but to the Lord through the words of His messenger and as a result, She conceived the Word Incarnate; Her body was literally inhabited by Love Himself.   Profundity and fecundity sublime! 

 

Fear, particularly in the form of worry and anxiety, is fostered when we look to ourselves for the answers, when we think we are in control of our world. As in the case of Adam and Eve, fear arose in them after they had eaten the fruit for they had looked to themselves rather than God for the answers.  This emotion (and many other terrible things) entered into the world as a direct result of doing just that. And then what did they do? They hid from Love Itself and then started pointing fingers at each other. They could not love for they had not first turned to God Who is Love.

 

Our Lord experienced this fear on our behalf during His Passion for He took on our sins and all of its awful wages. Yet, He did not look to Himself, but rather the Father to Whom He was obedient, even unto death, trusting at the moment of His death that He would be received into the Father's Hands. Even though His life looked like a complete failure to the world, He knew that life in the Father's Hands would bear much fruit. In this case, the salvation of all those who accept Him. It is through this Trust that salvation was won.

   

In this world filled with wars, rumors of wars, stress, debt, betrayal, illness and all other kind of human suffering, the question we must ask ourselves is, Whose hands are we going to put ourselves into? Will we look to ourselves for the answers? Will we handle it on our own and make our own choices? We are doing an awful lot of that and yet nothing is getting any better.  Rather, we find ourselves following our first parents in our choices and habits, even though they are a recipe for sorrow. 

Instead, we must cast ourselves at the feet of Our Lord on the Cross and in the arms of Our Lady of Sorrows Who, through obedience, love and trust, brought about the salvation of all those who will follow. 

Such is a habit worth forming.   

 

Consider how you might place your life in God's Hands and weave reliance on the Father into the fabric of your everyday life.  For those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose, even if you miss the 6:11!

Surprised by Sin

Sin has a way of sneaking up on you when you aren't looking.   There you are, going along without any temptation in sight or in mind, and then all of us sudden, without realizing it is happening or being able to catch yourself, you have just broken God's Law:   sudden impatience with recalcitrant child, stunning rage at another driver cutting you off, wishing the ladies at the salon "Happy Holidays."   Each time such occurs, I am left dumbfounded and deeply saddened:  I did it again.

Such moments come up unexpectedly.   I do not plan these things to happen.  On the contrary, I pray and work so that they don't.  Yet, seemingly out of the blue, I do the very thing again and am flummoxed. 

These events often seem to follow immediately after a burst of emotion of some kind, either positive or negative.  I get a rush of fear when nearly cut off on the road. The next thing I know, I am yelling at the driver instead of thanking my guardian angel for his help;  I am tired and desire rest and snap at the ailing family member for wanting more tissue instead of attending to the request with resignation if not warmth; I am feeling energetic and happy and say something which obfuscates the Truth of Jesus, all in the name of "sharing the love," forgetting Love Himself.

When these unfortunate moments occur, they demonstrate that all is not well within.   I believe it was CS Lewis who said that you can tell the state of one's inner life by seeing how the person reacts when approached in surprise.   The sudden and unexpected reveal the truth of what is going on within because the person does not have the opportunity in the moment to reflect upon the matter and control the reaction.  What is being revealed is the unfiltered state of one's soul...unfiltered, unedited muck.

Frankly, I find these moments most difficult in the spiritual life and I must fight off becoming disheartened when they occur. for they rear their ugly heads without warning - or so it seems.    In spite of my best efforts - prayer, penance, acts of charity, these moments of weakness and sin occur even seemingly without full consent.   It all happens so.... naturally, almost as if it is the real me.  And, in a certain sense, it is.

Scripture and Tradition bear witness to it. 

St. Paul bemoans the war in our members:   "For that which I work, I understand not. For I do not that good which I will: but the evil which I hate, that I do.If then I do that which I will not, I consent to the law, that it is good. Now then it is no more I that do it: but sin that dwelleth in me. For I know that there dwelleth not in me, that is to say, in my flesh, that which is good. For to will is present with me: but to accomplish that which is good, I find not. For the good which I will, I do not: but the evil which I will not, that I do. Now if I do that which I will not, it is no more I that do it: but sin that dwelleth in me.   Romans 7:15-20

But weren't we made in the image and likeness of God?  Yes and we still are.  We and all of Creation were made for God Who is Truth. Nothing exists without Him.  All in Creation is to reflect this Truth for all was created by God for God.  Being created by God, all things are to work according to His Plan and having been made in His Image and Likeness, our intellect, memories and will are to reflect Him.  However, when Adam and Eve ate of the fruit, they rejected Truth; they chose to be outside of God's Love and Providence, to be "free" to choose as they desired. Rejecting Him and choosing to live outside of Him, they rendered themselves, objectively and in justice, unlovable and undesirable to God for He cannot love that which is not of Him; They placed themselves outside of God, alone with themselves and fallen prey to Fallen One. This too was our fate as well; to work by the sweat of our brow, bring forth children in pain and desire to control one another.  

Yet, in His Goodness and Mercy, God leaves us not alone with our natural original sin-stained selves.  Knowing that it is not good for man to be alone (without Him), He sent His Son to atone for the sin of Adam and Eve (and all sin) and to give all those who will follow Him a new life through sanctifying grace which is given to us in the Sacraments of The Church.  In the Sacrament of Baptism, this sanctifying grace - His very Life - is infused into the soul and gives to the soul the gifts of the Holy Ghost; a stable and supernatural disposition which perfects the soul and enables the soul to live with God and act in His Love.  The stain of Original Sin is removed and the bond with Satan is broken. The soul now is a child of the One God, the Blessed Trinity. 

Yet, the "memory" of the original bond still remains; the affinity to sin is retained and our human nature is weakened.  Over the course of its lifespan, the child of God must consciously and actively reject Satan and choose God; to reject evil and choose Good, for though have been redeemed by the Passion and Death of Jesus Christ, we need to engage in the battle of the "war within the members."   

This "war" is no less than following Jesus' admonition, And He said to all: "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." - Luke 9:23  That is, to do what does not come naturally, but to follow the Via Dolorosa of Jesus Christ. To follow Jesus is to be in direct contradiction with that which my members, my emotions, my surprised self would choose to do.  Oh yes, a magic potion would be so much easier and quicker, but because we are to follow Jesus, the New Adam, re-creation of the soul and body involves work and pain, blood, sweat and tears "For the Kingdom of Heaven suffereth violence and the violent bear it away." - Matthew 11:12  Such is the only means to salvation. Eternal Life is only for those who not only assent with the lips, but with the heart, mind and soul.  Everything must be surrendered to Christ; all that I am in every instant.  It is Jesus to Whom I must give way; to do it His Way and not my own.  I must root out that which is not of Him and in doing so, give greater room for sanctifying grace, His very Life. To put to death all that is of Adam.  How?  Oh, it all seems impossible and yet  who can resist Our Lord: "Come to me all you that labor and are burdened, and I will refresh you. Take up my yoke upon you, and learn of me, because I am meek, and humble of heart: And you shall find rest to your souls. For my yoke is sweet and my burden light )Matthew 11:28-30) 

These are not mere words, but those spoken by Jesus Christ, the Second Person of the Trinity Who is The Word through Whom all has been created.   The Eternal Word holds everything in existence and comes to save His Creation from the slavery of sin and our sudden selves, our passions and proclivities, by becoming The Word Incarnate in the womb of the Blessed Virgin Mary.  God Himself joins to fallen mankind by taking on human flesh, knowing all that which we suffer and like us in all things save sin.  He came not to live, but to die to atone for us and open the Gates of Paradise which had been locked of thousands of years before.

The Word became Flesh in the womb of the Blessed Virgin - Emmanuel - and offered Himself to the Father to atone for our sins, but He didn't stop there.  No - it wasn't enough for Him.  In His most profound and gratuitous Love, He becomes Incarnate at every Catholic Mass, using bread and wine which He has given us, and through the Word, His Word, spoken by His priest, He once again Dwells among us in the Blessed Sacrament.  Each time we receive Holy Communion, we literally take Him into ourselves, into the very depths of our being, our inmost self, the self that we are not even aware of - the sudden self.  

The Lord of All, The Word Incarnate, comes to dwell, not only with us, but literally within us through Holy Communion. 2,000 years ago, The Savior was born in the silence of night in a cave, surrounded by lowly animals, unknown to the world with the exception of shepherds, and far-off magi.  At Holy Communion, He comes again to dwell, but this time, first within the hands of His priest and then within the deepest, darkest unknown regions of our beings, His lowly creatures Whom He has redeemed and desires to Save.  He descends from Heaven again and again to save us, making present to us His Sacrifice on Calvary and giving to us, in Holy Communion, His very life.  Deep within, we are united God Himself.  He gives to us His Very Self - Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity and makes all things new for those who turn away from sin and trust in Him.  He gives us His Body and Blood to feast upon and infuses in our souls His very life - His Soul and Divinity. Fully and Truly Present in The Blessed Sacrament and within us.  In Holy Communion, Jesus goes to where no one else can go and that is to my very essence, to the sudden self by whom I am often caught off guard and leaves me discouraged.    He knew me in my mother's and in Holy Communion, heals, strengthens and transforms this hidden self into His Very Self.  He asks only that I trust and follow.    When I receive Holy Communion, I surrender everything to Jesus.  As He gives me everything, His Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity, I give to Him my very self, all that I am.    It is Jesus to Whom I give way; to do it His Way and not my own; giving Him free reign over my life in that moment of Holy Communion and always; He will root out that which is not of Him and in doing so, give greater room for sanctifying grace, His very Life so long as I cooperate with His grace and follow; to put to death all that is of Adam and become new creations in Jesus Christ, being readied for the Heavenly Kingdom.  

Knowing this, how can I be discouraged, even at my sudden self?  We have a Savior Who has provided everything we need through His Church to overcome all things in Him, most incredibly in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass and Holy Communion.  

"These things I have spoken to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you shall have distress: but have confidence, I have overcome the world." - John 16:33

A blessed Thanksgiving to you.  

Anima Christi

Soul of Christ, sanctify me.
Body of Christ, save me.
Blood of Christ, inebriate me.
Water from the side of Christ, cleanse me.
Passion of Christ, strengthen me.
O Good Jesus, hear me.
Within your wounds hide me.
Separated from You never let me be.
From the malicious Enemy, defend me.
At the hour of my death, call me.
and bid me to Your side,
That together with Your angels and saints I may praise You
For ever and ever. Amen.

Anima Christi

   

A Thorny Issue

It was a beautiful mid-July day, a bit less humid than usual and so I impulsively decided that it was a day to do the things that I had been putting off....power-washing the exterior of the house and cleaning the dreaded windows!

After that was accomplished, I felt energized and went on to do some weeding.  There were two 4-ft tall stalks growing along the side of the house and every morning as I look outside the kitchen window, I see them, taunting me.   If I let them be,  I am convinced that eventually a boy named Jack would appear and decide to climb them.  So, again impulsively, I  decide to hack at them, armed with the kitchen scissors.  The right tools make all the difference....anyway, I encountered another type of growth which I didn't expect nor realized was present: brambles replete with thorns.  

In typical fashion, I started to go after them unprepared - this time, without any gloves (those who take on projects impulsively rarely are armed appropriately) and those thorns did what they were made to do:  they stopped me in my tracks.   Ok, I wasn't giving up and now armed with protective gloves and the kitchen scissors, I began the pruning process.  Despite wearing thorn-fighting gear and renewed caution, I found myself completely caught up in the thorns and various parts of my body being impaled on the small yet ferocious probes.  I was trapped and in pain.....and as I breathed in deep breaths of shock, all I could think about, other than my stupidity, was our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Call me crazy, but thorns always lead me to think of Christ.

His Passion - from the sublime fear of the Garden Gethsemane to the brutal scourging to His Walk on the Via Dolorosa to the Crucifixion and Death - is indelibly etched in the Christian mind.  It is through His Passion and His Resurrection on the third day that Jesus Christ, the Son of the God, the Lamb of God, saved those who know and love Him from sin and death.   Protestants recount this upon Bible readings and at Sunday services.  Catholics, in particular, remember and re-present His Sacrifice through the Mass where we are spiritually yet very concretely brought back to Cavalry to stand at the foot of the Cross.    Yet, despite what is actually taking place there, we can very much lose touch or become desensitized to the gravity of what our Lord underwent to secure for us eternity with Him, His incredible charity and mercy.    "This is My Body and Blood given up for you" recall His Passion and bring the Mass goers back to Golgotha.  Yet, many fail to comprehend the gravity of those words - the incomprehensible Sacrifice offered by God Himself -  and so much is lost.   Yet, all is not lost forever if we only but remember.

As a thorn pushed its way into my thumb, the suddenness and intensity of the pain rendered me unable to breathe.   Then another into my thigh.   Man, I was in trouble.  Fortunately, I was able to remain calm and work my way out of the sticky situation.

Once freed and recovered, I stood back and looked at the barbed wire.  Thoughts came to me of the ram on Mount Moriah, caught in the brambles; the sacrifice which God had provided to Abraham in place of Isaac.  That ram and Isaac, forever bound as  prefigurements of the Son Who is the Lamb of Sacrifice, Jesus Christ.

The Lamb of Sacrifice, the Lamb of God - the Crown He wore was not one of gold or evergreens, but of thorns, pressed down into his skull, in mockery and cruelty.  Suffering beyond comprehension.  Yet, unlike me who cursed and swore and did all I could to get out of the pain, He endured silently like a sheep being led to the slaughter, He Who alone is the Holy One.  He Who could call upon a legion of angels to defend Him (and, if human beings wrote this story, you know they would and kick some butt, too!), did not - no.  He through Whom all things were made placed Himself in the hands of His creation, from His Conception and Birth to His Passion and Death.  Imagine, that the instruments of His Death were members of His Creation!  Yet, instead of cursing and condemning, He implored from the Cross, "Father, forgive them.  They know not what they do!"   Stories of ancient nomads - oh give me a break.

Evening arrived, all of the gardening was done and I felt the stings and pangs from my interlude with the thorns.  None of them were terribly deep and so would not likely scar and there is always cocoa butter just in case.  In a few days, these nicks would heal and be forgotten, no longer a part of me.  Yet, Jesus Glorified retains His Wounds.  So real and vibrant are they that Thomas could put his hand in Jesus' side and exclaim, "My Lord and my God!"   Have you ever considered that Jesus  - the Son of God - is the only one in Heaven who will retain His Wounds?  In His magnificent justice and mercy, He retains them so that we can know and recognize Him as the Truth; that He will eternally be the Union of Heaven and earth, of God and man.   And God doesn't love us?

     

St. Paul tells us that we can know God through His creation.  We look around and see its magnificence and words of the hymn come to mind, "Oh Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder consider all the works Thy Hands have made.  I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder, Thy power throughout the universe displayed...How great Thou Art!"   Yet, there are more to St. Paul's words. Since it is through Christ that all of creation has come into being, we must see our individual life and its ups and downs in light of Him.  All of creation thereby takes on a new meaning, a renewed and eternal purpose.  By Jesus, the Son of God, becoming Man, He joins Heaven and Earth, God and man.   With His Passion, Death, Resurrection and Ascension (Glorified Jesus enters Heaven), we are now a new creation for He is the New Man that we are all called to be through Him.  I live this new life through worship and obedience to His Will for my life and by caring for all those whom I encounter. I see my life through His Life and even the seemingly most insignificant experiences are renewed.  Everything is an opportunity to encounter the Risen Christ.

Even getting caught up in thorns.

O Sacred Head Surrounded

How Wonderful is Your Life?

Thanksgiving is just two weeks ago and we stand on the precipice of what is commonly known as the holiday season, replete with all the cultural contributions and contrivances.   One of the better ones which emanated post WWII is the well-loved movie, "It's a Wonderful Life." To recap, it is the story of George Bailey, a man with dreams of travel and adventure who, step by step, puts his dreams on hold for the sake of others. Instead of “shaking the dust of this crummy old' town” (Bedford Falls), he marries Mary (“the kind who will help you find the answers”),settles down to raise a family and help keep the Building Saving and Loan afloat and out of the hands of wicked and ruthless Mr. Potter. He falls upon misfortune and he comes to the end of his rope, contemplates suicide and wishes he was never born. An angel-in-training is sent to help George understand just how vitally important his life was and how drastically different the lives around would have turned out without him. 

Yes, it is the stuff of great movie. Interestingly, the movie was not a box office success nor critically acclaimed. Director Frank Capra has stated that he made this movie for the downtrodden of life....for those who felt overlooked and worthless....the unseen, unwanted and forgotten.
 
George Bailey is given a blessing beyond blessings...to see what life would be like without him. Have you ever considered what life would be like without you?  I know I have had moments when I would just “die”.   At these moments, I really don’t want to die, I just don’t want to face whatever challenge or failure that is in front of me.   But what George asks for is something altogether different.  If you try to think about it, I think you will find that it isn't something we can really imagine for ourselves, at least not in its fullest sense. Like George, our vision is myopic. We see only from one perspective and whether we are in trouble or experiencing success, we really cannot fully know it unless we share it with others.  In fact, it is through the lives of others that George sees just why he was here and how all those choices he made impacted those around him and ultimately the future of Bedford Falls.
 
The interesting wish that George makes is that he wishes he was never born. Never born.  Here in the United States, over 60 million people have "never been born" since 1973. And the ending of these lives goes on largely unseen, done in clinics with the words "women's health" hung in the window. These 60 million+ are unwanted by their mothers or fathers. They have no names, no burial plots, no death certificates. How could they? They are the never born! They are therefore forgotten. Unseen, unwanted, unknown, forgotten, people. Hmmm, where have I heard these words before?
 
We cannot know with the great detail as was granted to George Bailey what impact these never born people would have had on society through their individual lives. Yet, we can know how their never-born status has had on the lives around them and at large. The voices of "Silent No More" will again be heard on the steps of outside of the Supreme Court this coming January, after the March for Life. These are the cries of women and men - mothers and fathers - who have suffered profoundly from abortion. The memory of their actions haunts them day after day. You cannot forget your abortion, the blood on your hands. Science tells us that after an abortion, fetal cells travel throughout the mother's bloodstream. (Lifesite.com).   

George Bailey’s dreams of travel to distant lands and making millions of dollars are never realized.   He chooses to remain, to assist, to give up, to attend, to work.   He sees his father’s battles with Potter from the time he was a boy and he carried it with him.  He saw the people of the town and felt the stories of their lives and wanted very much to help them realize their dreams, albeit much smaller than George’s!   In doing so, George lived and felt very deeply the humanity around him, and he lays down his life (sometimes begrudgingly) to provide hope.   George lets go of his fantasies and dreams of “more” and  he lives a life that is far more alive than he can imagine.  Painfully alive.   This is why it is such a wonderful life – not that it is all hearts and flowers and sunshine; not that there is wealth; heck, not even that we have friends; but that we human beings have the capacity and fullness of being through our Heavenly Father that we can both receive and give love; inasmuch as we do so, we become more and more like our Heavenly Father, we become more alive.  Painfully alive. 

So many people believe that having a baby will “ruin” their lives:  their dreams will be lost, their beautiful bodies marred, career goals put on hold, less money.  They believe that by not having another child, they will be happy, they will have….  Our culture tells us this constantly.   We must have, we must achieve our goals, must be successful.  We are constantly looking to go over the rainbow.  Yet, even Dorothy finds that her happiness is right in front of her and as the result of her wanderings and myopia, she nearly loses those around her and is herself nearly killed.   Stop and think about your life. What has made moments in it so memorable, worthwhile, heck even wonderful?   Guaranteed these moments involved someone you loved; moments in which you forgot about yourself and your dreams and demonstrated true love – compassion (to suffer with) – towards another.   These are the moments in which we are truly living, we are most alive, we are fully human.  Consider the words of our Savior, Jesus Christ, “He who seeks his life will lose it; he loses his life for my sake, will find it.”  “I came that they might have life and have it in abundance.”

The ultimate tragedy of abortion, I believe, is the lie it keeps on telling women, men, society at large.   The lie that if I “terminate this ball of tissue,” I will be happy.  I will find fulfillment.  I will be ok and no one will be hurt by it.   It perpetuates a state of disillusionment and detaches us from the reality of what it means to be a human being.   To be human is to love (for we are made by Love in Love to Love for Love) and to love, as our Lord Jesus Christ, shows us, is to lay down one’s life for others.   Anything else is contrary to love, contrary to what it means to be human.

And so our friend, George Bailey, sees what his life is all about – love of others – and he is saved and all because of a bumbling angel-in-training, Clarence, who cares enough to take a risk and dive in (literally).  He isn’t quite sure how or what he is going to do, but he listens to George, stays with him and step by step leads him to the Truth.  

We pray for all those who have suffered as a result of abortion, directly or indirectly.   In and through Jesus, there is forgiveness, hope and healing.      May there be more Clarences, who, though stumbling and bumbling, have the purity of heart to help shine light on the darkness that is “pro-choice.”    And for those little discarded ones, our Lord’s promise: “If even a mother should forget her child, I will never forget you.”

PS:  Frank Capra got it wrong at the end of this most wonderful movie.  The message from Clarence should have read, "No man is a failure who lays down his life for the sake of others."